


abandon what was (but not what is)

by Elisye



Series: wake up, birthday girl (it's the end of an era) [2]
Category: Subarashiki Kono Sekai | The World Ends With You
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, hi this is introspective angsty bs feat. my dumbest AU lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 11:03:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 744
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16596647
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Elisye/pseuds/Elisye
Summary: a short moment, reprieve, insight -somewhere in the quantum sea of time and possibility, Shiki grieves and contemplates what must come after.





	abandon what was (but not what is)

**Author's Note:**

> the quickest 20-min bus ride drabble ive ever written lmaoooooooooooo

 

 

we curl into ourselves, hoping to find salvation in the midst of our darkness. for surely, humanity was born pure, ignorant and sinless before the advent of an apple. so surely, somewhere inside all of us, we know the way forward.

 

right? or wrong?

 

—wrong. because deep down, though you learnt your lesson, it doesn’t apply here. here, in this misted, fathomless world parallel to life - your truth and your wisdom and your light is meaningless, nonsensical, and small and flickering.

 

you shouldn’t be here, screams everything and everyone and no one. not nothing, because you can see your unhappy reflection in store fronts and rainy puddles, your cremated corpse trying to clamber back to the living in the smoke of exhaust fumes and the greyest of storm clouds.  _im here, im here, i want to go back home!_ \- your voice stays unheard, but it ripples through the nightmares of children, waking upset in the middle of the night from dreams that don’t truly belong to them.

 

like this, as anyone would be aware, your transformation is corruption - long ago, you hoped so you wanted. you didn’t think of what would happen if you never got what you wanted. this was an act filled with an inherent assumption of guarantee, somewhere. how utterly, utterly, _pathetically_  narrow-minded of you, child. you poor, poor,  _stupid child._  and now! look at what has been wrought upon you, and what you have wrought upon in return. look at how you have degraded, and the degradation you have brought upon your charge.

 

upon dear, dearest shibuya - a true bystander to all, and yet, alive to influence and be influenced. especially by you.

 

even so, in spite of everything, this city is kind. or at least, with you as her new influence, she has become much kinder. she knows that this is not where you should have been - her many notes hint at a different future, a different outcome. with her higher oversight, she knows of a different score where you lived ideally. shibuya is as displeased as you are, in mourning as you are. which is why, even now, she does not spurn your grief and spoiled desires, even though you are to be her heart and you cannot allow her to be tainted with such ugly discord.

 

instead, as you stare listlessly into the dark, her tired hymns stroke the crown of your head, as reassuring as a formless, abstract entity can be. you sink a little into the comfort of her song, a bit placated - but you cannot avoid hearing your own darkness echoing through the notes. you cannot be completely comforted by the melodies, by shibuya, by these reminders of your responsibilities. you have things to do. you have so much to do, so much you must manage and care for.

 

closing your eyes, listening carefully - and you can hear the thoughts and emotions of everyone in this city, as tiny notes gathered and strung into a grand symphony. an orchestra you’re in charge of, as you must remember and shall never forget now. everyone wants to live peacefully, happily, listening to this unheard but pleasant song. you must ensure that they keep on doing so. to avert your eyes, to fail—could you handle that? could you handle being so cruel, to all these people who just want to live their lives in glory? all because you want, still want, can’t move on from being denied your own gloria?

 

unlike most others in this afterlife, you have a heart. you’re too human to let go (yet), but you can’t be that cruel. you don’t like hurting others like that.

 

it’s not going to be easy, picking up all these fallen pieces. but - you can’t let anyone else suffer because of you.

 

(only you should suffer from your own tragedies. you can be responsible for that much, at least - right?)

 

this is not proper determination in itself - it is not the way forward. but this is how you can keep going, the only way you know. and god,  _god,_  if anything, if you  _are_  anything, you will be nothing but stubborn and loving. no matter how much you may change—have to change—in order to continue with this, by some means and measure you will push forward and tend to all under your care.

 

that’s become your role in the bigger scope of things. that’s your duty, dear composer.

 

time to get to it. eventually.

 

 


End file.
